Thursday, January 14, 2010

It Really IS All About Me, Isn't it God?

Welcome to my blog. I am Jeremy Facknitz. You can piece together a lot about me and who I am and what I do to pass life by typing my name (Jeremy Facknitz, in case you've forgotten) into the Google search engine.

That's something you may feel like putting off at the moment. You may be so deep into this blog, so entranced that you've already lost yourself in the previous 5 lines (author pausing, sitting back, grinning). It happens to me all the time. It happens whenever I can steal a reflection of myself and gaze into my own dreamy, hazel eyes.

Where was I? Ah yes - you see, I build myself up right now because that's what I need to do to survive. Truth be told I'm just a scared little boy. For those of you who haven't left these blogged (pronounced blah-jed) words to Google search my name (or forget about me completely), I am a 31 year old singer/songwriter from Holly, MI. I've recently "divorced" my fiance/girlfriend of five and a half years because she had developed a habit of not liking me very much at all! Actually the divorce was more her choice, so I guess I LIKED being not liked, at least enough to stick with it. Sigh! What hopeless romantic I am - er, was.

On the career front (author sticking out chest as he's about type for you the 9 year-old claim-to-fame story) I won a Detroit Music Award WAY back in 2001 as a member of "The Ottomans". We beat out "The White Stripes" that year as the "Best New Alternative Band". A year later they were mega-famous and The Ottomans were history.

I've worked tirelessly for the last 13 years at music. Nothing else on this planet has brought me so much joy. Now, as far as pursuing it as a livelihood and career, nothing else has brought me so close to throwing myself off a 6 story building on to the concrete courtyard below (but we'll talk more about my time on opium in Boston, MA at a later date, mkay?).

Music music music. Writing it, recording it, performing it. Chances are you've never heard of me. That's probably due to certain realizations I'm coming to about myself; A) I've worked very, very hard, but not always very, very smart. B) I've done everything on my own. No lessons or mentoring of any kind, ever. Until recently. This was a mistake. This has caused a lot of failure, which yes builds character but makes the trip that much longer and more painful at times. C) It's possible I'm just not as good as I or you or my mother would like to believe and D) I love "B sides", therefore I write "B sides" (FOR THE KIDS: A "B side" refers to the lesser side of an archaic music listening device known as a "45 record" made popular in the mid 20th century. It's was considered the lesser side because it typically housed the song that showcased the artists "art". It was placed on the flip side or B side of the "hit", which was placed on the A side. EXAMPLE: The song you recognize and sing along to at the concert is an "A side", as opposed to the song you buy beer to and take a piss to at the concert, which is a "B side).

In any event, here I am. 31, single, no health insurance, a wedding that was planned for June that now is not, no salary, no prospects, no 401K, no kids, no dogs, no cats, no goldfish, 3 albums, 65 or so fans, 13 years under my belt and a microphone screen that still has tar in it from all the smokey bars I played in Ohio and Michigan 8 years ago. I make $20,000 per year and sometimes I'm really, really tired.

So what do I do now? Quit? Go back to school? Man, I am sick of those human tool sheds who interrupt Judge Judy at 2 in the afternoon and tell me what a loser I am because I don't have my degree but... umm... maybe they're right? Maybe then I can find a good woman to make me some babies, find a good job with good benefits to feed them all, buy a 3 bedroom house in Castle Rock, CO so the Mrs. can shop at the outlet stores every week while I slowly climb each soul-crushing rung of the corporate ladder?

Nope. As far as the music career goes, I'm just getting started my friends.

This blog is for me and anyone else who knows what it's like to have to follow your dream because you know in your heart of hearts that there is absolutely, positively, no other option.

YES SIR AND/OR MA'AM! That's what this blog will be about. Here we go! On tour in March with a woman I barely know ( in a place I've never played before! 3 weeks in the car together! Then back east to play for more people who can't pronounce my last name! Then on to Boston for... closure! Living out of my car! Still no health insurance! Playing for tips and CD sales! Busking! Gypsy! $20,000 will seem like a posh existence! I'm scared shitless! I'm so excited! I can't wait! I'm having an anxiety attack! NOW NOW NOW! This must happen NOW! While I'm still young and somewhat pretty! While there's still a smidgen of life left in these hazel eyes! This is the time. NOW! WHY IS MY CHEST SO TIGHT?

Pictures, video coming soon.

Are you ready to come with me?

Stay tuned...

(author sitting back, exhausted)