Welcome to my head with 7 weeks down and 3 weeks to go.

I left Colorado Springs on March 8th. Since then and until this past week at my parents house, I had not spent more than three nights in one place.

When I first set sail with Teresa Storch that day, I felt as though a tremendous weight had been lifted off my skinny shoulders. All the planning, anxiety and second guessing was over. I didn't have to worry about doing it because, finally! I was actually doing it.

The two weeks that followed were what I call "the honeymoon period". I got real sick with sinus funk while in Oregon and I had a hard time finding my singing voice even when I felt well, but I was ecstatic over the fact that I was doing it. Me, with no other income. Me, in my new car. The only thing I had to do everyday was play a show... I had no lessons to teach, no tasks to complete for Paul Franco. I was living and working for me and only me, to feed MY belly and MY soul - making myself a stronger man, songwriter, performer. It was scary as all hell committing myself to getting there, but I realized that I had gone pro. What a high! I knew I had made the right decision.

When I went back to Colorado Springs over Easter for a few days, the gravity of that decision and what it meant as far as the changes in my life really set in. I went home, but I had no home. My "stuff" is in storage. I stayed with my close friends and I was "back", but I was essentially still on the road - sleeping in guest beds, waking up and wondering where the hell the cereal bowls were. It blindsided me a bit. I had no idea it would affect me the way it did. I didn't break down and cry, or search craigslist for an apartment that I can piss large amounts of money away on - a place I'll only be living in half the time - all for that "feeling" of having a home base. It's just that I didn't foresee this. That's okay. It's good information. I would like it if that by the end of this year, if I'm making more money, I could get my own place... but it's a financial burden that I'm not ready to bear at this time. So I gotta buck up and get back to looking for the damn cereal bowls, wherever they are. Wherever I am.

Touring alone this past month has been so educational. When I wake up almost every night or morning, I have that moment where I have absolutely no idea where I am. This bothered me for a month or so, it started back in Oregon. Then last week while sleeping in my brother's bed in Chicago that he so kindly offered to me, it happened again - but this time I said "Ok, well fuck it. I'm going back to sleep, and I can be wherever I want to be right now." So now when this happens, I let the mind take over and I fall asleep. So far, I've gone back home to where I grew up, and I've gone back to Colorado Springs numerous times. I call it my "dreamy dream land", and it's helped me grow more cognizant of my dreams. I've also slayed dragons, saved princesses and played professional baseball. Doing that stuff in dreamy dream land is far better than trying to figure out who's bed I'm in at 3:45 in the morning in the real world.

I would rather play 7 shows in 3 days than no shows in 2 days. Playing is less exhausting than not playing, because I'm not getting that connection, that high. The lack of THAT is exhausting. Downtime sucks. When you're in a town and you don't know a soul, killing time (sometimes a whole day) before a show, and you don't have the money for a proper room, it can get you down. Being a homeless folk dude playing shows is the best thing I've ever done. Just being homeless, on the other hand, is a far different feeling. I have friends who have done what I'm doing and have counseled me as to what to do when this happens and I feel I have a better handle on it now.

In the last few weeks I've had some personal and performance breakthroughs. After the honeymoon period fatigue set in and I still feel it, just a little. It's not a sleepy tired but rather an "okay where do I gotta go now?" tired. That's to be expected. It doesn't deter me.

Aside from the people I've met, the friends I've made, the beautiful countryside and the ever changing scenery (I hate routine), the greatest thing that's come out of averaging 4 shows a week is the fact that I'm finally on my way to being the badass I know I will become. I'm at the top of my game thusfar in my career. I get my guitar on and I go to work. I feel my worst performance of the week right now was my best performance of the month three months ago. I'm a traveling folk robot. It's not about how many people are at the show, who's listening, who cares, how I'm praised or not praised. I just go to work and I do it. And I love it wholly.

So for those of you who've been asking "how are you doing?", well I'm doing real well thank you. The freak outs come, the moments of doubt creep in but they are just moments. Everyday, the loudest voice in my head is the one that's saying "Go Jeremy. You're doing it man. This is you. This is right. I love you."

Then I usually kiss myself.

Soon, a northeastern tour will begin - tomorrow actually, here in Waban, MA. I'm touring with Teresa again, back to Colorado Springs. When I return they may not recognize me.

Thanks to all of you for reading. More to come.


BUY JEREMY'S DEBUT ALBUM "GIMMICK" HERE! www.cdbaby.com/jeremyfacknitz2